Marriage is a promise of forever and for many, it is easy to take it for granted that once that promise is made, your partner is bound to be there always till a shocker hits you and you find out that they are considering leaving.
You never thought you would be one of those people that got divorced and you are left flailing, wondering what to do and how to save a marriage on the brink of divorce while your partner seems dead set on getting divorced and is not listening to your pleas and promises to adjust. In some cases, your partner isn’t even talking to you at all and you can’t figure out what the problem is and how to go about solving it.
Ideally, it is always the best option to pay attention to your partner before it reaches this point, communicate, listen to them and their needs, try to create time for them and figure out what they might be missing or in need of. Unfortunately, many – and you’re not alone in this – do not pay attention and as such, they miss the signs and warnings of dissatisfaction, the complaints and the lack of contentment their spouse tries to show them. This leaves you shocked at the point where your spouse believes divorce is the only way out while you are left wondering what went wrong and when.
Marriage is a continuous journey. One that you find you’re always working on as you and your spouse change and grow. It is important to keep working and keep devoting your time and energy to making it work.
It is much harder to reach your spouse when the situation has gotten so bad that it is at the brink of divorce and they aren’t even interested in working or talking things out. The problem at this point is, you are left on your own to figure out how to save a marriage that is falling apart because your partner might no longer believe it is actually possible to still save it.
Another thing here is that, most of your efforts might be met with resistance and you might start to feel hopeless and alone, considering giving up and letting it go to divorce. However, if you’re determined not to join the rising divorce statistics and bent on making it work, then it is not impossible. You just need to be focused and make your marriage a priority. Decide to do things differently and be prepared to weather the storm of your spouse’s reluctance even if you are feeling hopeless or unwanted.
It is definitely possible to go from wondering how to save your marriage when you feel hopeless to having a strong marriage that is the envy of others. You just have to put in the work.
Marriage is challenging and many marriages reach the brink of divorce and even more result in divorce so do not feel like you have failed if you are here looking for ways to get your spouse back into your marriage, however far away from that they may seem right now
Try out these steps, patiently and let’s hope for the best.
- Sharing the load equally: This is a key factor in many divorces where one person believes they are getting the short end of the stick and the other person isn’t contributing as much or helping out. This could be financially, with household chores, with the kids, or any other duties and responsibilities within your marriage. It is critically important to look at the situation and ask yourself if your spouse might be feeling shortchanged by you and see what you can do to fix this.
- Shake the negative thoughts: To be able to deal with this situation, you need to shake the negative thoughts of suspicion, rejection, not feeling good enough and anything else that might be running through your mind. It will only cast a dark cloud over your efforts and stop you from giving it your best. Try not to panic and adopt a positive, upbeat, can-do attitude as you would when facing a task at work.
- Listening and observing your spouse: Another big issue in marriages is that spouses feel ignored and like their voices and opinion do not count. Making the effort to listen and find out what is going on with them and communicating, helping out and responding to their issues will help your marriage and bring your spouse a bit more off the ledge of divorce.
- Be open and transparent: A lot of the negative factors that lead a marriage to divorce are brought about by secrecy and closed doors, including infidelity. It goes deeper than you think because even if you have good intentions for keeping things from your partner, the results are always dangerous as they serve to put more distance between you and can leave your partner suspicious and left to assume the worst. In the event that you have not been open and transparent in the past, you need to imbibe this trait.
- Talk: One thing most couples find out on the brink of divorce is how little they talk over the years. Talking here is not about bills, kids, the house, their families or any of those that cannot be avoided but about themselves and their issues. It is usually revealing once the couple can begin talking and sharing again. Most times, you find that a lot of the angst and problems lie in the bottled up thoughts and emotions. At this point, you might have to take the leap, be vulnerable, and lay down your heart even if you do end up feeling stupid. The effort might also end up worth it.
- Be sensitive: As much as is possible right now, be sensitive to the needs of your spouse and try to avoid saying harmful things or implying anything that will damage your relationship even more in the long run. Try to keep your antenna sensitive to their needs so you can meet them.
- Do things together: When you’re dating and in the early years of your marriage, you find that you engage in so many activities that are not only fun but also help you discover each other, release tensions and make you feel closer. As you get older and deeper in your marriage and relationship, it can start to feel like there’s already so much activity with work and kids and the family that you forget to create time and space for these kinds of activities. It is important to do so now more than ever and see if you can bring back that spark.
- Talk to someone: This might be hard if your spouse is not willing to engage but it is extremely useful to get therapy or counselling or involve a trusted friend, elder or mediator to help figure out what the issues might be and also to give objective recommendations and advice to both of you.
- Take some time off: Yes, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder but this isn’t the only reason to try this. It might seem like this gives your partner the chance to be without you and might encourage them more in the path of divorce than away from it but it might also be a good idea to put some space and distance between the both of you and give you some time to evaluate and assess your relationship. Don’t just take time off however. Set a timeline and goals for this to guide you and your spouse while you are away from each other.
- File for divorce: While this might seem really dangerous and feel like you are giving in and getting the ball rolling for your divorce, it might be just what you need to send that jolt of reality into your relationship and actually get you and your spouse facing the reality of just what it would be like to be apart not just for you but for your children if you have any. When the financial and emotional implications of the divorce and the divorce process including the cost of lawyers and the court process begin to sink in, so might the thought that divorce is not the way after all.
If you have been doing your best and trying everything on your own, it is not admitting defeat, to admit that you need some help. Afterall, you’re trying to do the job of two people and pulling that weight in a marriage is extremely difficult.
The next step in the process for you is Save My Marriage Today Guide. The save my marriage today guide is guaranteed to make all the difference you need here.
This guide by Amy Waterman and Andrew Rusbatch will help you find out the real reasons behind your spouse’s request for a divorce. Finding out the truth is the first step to solving the problems and rebuilding your marriage.
There are a number of reasons why your marriage might have reached this point. These include:
- Affairs – sexual or just emotional
- No emotional intimacy or connection
- No sexual or physical intimacy
- Lack of communication and time together
- Mental, emotional or behavioural factors
- Extended conflict and unresolved issues
- Issues with the children or family
It is very likely that you have more than one or two of these factors are playing a role in your divorce and as such, you absolutely need the Save My Marriage Today Guide to help you figure out which reasons are the culprits here.
Even if you are fighting this fight alone and your spouse isn’t trying to make it work with you, this guide will help you stop that divorce dead in its track and guide you through what you need to make things better and restore marital bliss.
At this point, you need to focus solely on the Save My Marriage Today Guide as everything you have tried obviously hasn’t worked as you had hoped they would.
The amazing thing about this guide is that it will help you be more efficient and targeted in your efforts to win your spouse back. While you might have been trying the right steps, you might not have the right mindset or understood where your spouse is at. With this guide however, you are better able to overcome this particular obstacle and your efforts to win your spouse back are more likely to hit the mark.
The Save My Marriage Today Guide will help you discover some of the destructive things YOU might be doing in your marriage and help you learn how to change them and make your partner see this change and come back to you. It will also help you gain better understanding of and control of your own emotions which may be instigating things or making them worse.
The guide can also help you spark up those old flames of desire in your relationship and with its powerful 4 step formula, help you stop cheating spouses, helping you focus on rebuilding a strong relationship and saving your marriage. It also prepares you for the challenges and strain on my marriage that come in as a result of childbirth and offers useful insights to help you navigate them.
Another important feature of this guide is, it helps you navigate conflicts and arguments with your spouse, helping to cut out the vicious cycle of extended conflicts, problems and situations. It includes chapters on trial separations, how to uncover issues while you are away from your spouse and what you need to know before you implement this. It points you in the direction of actions that result in a positive difference for you and your spouse.
This awesome guide guaranteed to get you through your divorce troubles also covers how to handle your spouse’s career putting a strain on your marriage and how to find a positive balance alongside teaching how to respond to attacks and criticisms from your spouse.
The Save My Marriage Today Guide offers you answers and advice that is sure to deliver fast results for you and your marriage.
So, you see, the Save My Marriage Today Guide is the ultimate tool you need to get your partner back from the brink of divorce even when it seems that they are currently uninterested in that.